Tenshi Translations

“Get the fuck out here already.”

“Hurry up, you retard.”

On the other side of the iron bars, three dirty-looking men are raising a fuss. 

Blond and brown hair, Caucasian-looking facial structure and body builds. Leather armor. Axes hanging from their back or swords sheathed at their waist. 

Hmm, how else to put it? Yep, they’re definitely mountain bandits.  

“......”

I’m feigning coolness, but the reality is that my body has become petrified.

Ever since my coming-of-age ceremony, I’ve been in exactly zero fights. I haven’t even had any run-ins with delinquents. 

(T/N: Coming-of-age ceremony = 20 years old)

In contrast, the attitudes of the 3 before me make it abundantly clear that they are familiar with acts of violence. 

“Dammit, giving me all this trouble.”

As if he’s only just realized that I can’t open the jail cell by myself, one of the men opens the iron lock and comes inside. 

“Excuse me……?! Gehah.”

I didn’t even have time to brace myself before the man lands a full-power punch in my stomach. 

[Invincible] is a spell that grants me resistance against weapons and magic. In other words, it does nothing at all for bare fists. 

Extreme pain shoots throughout my abdomen, paralyzing my breathing. 

“Make a fucking move on.”

All three of them come to me, who can’t even utter a peep, and drag me out of the cell and along the passageway. 

While being dragged along the short passageway, I was able to, in the brief moment when I could look into the cell next to mine, see the figure of a young woman. 

“...... Ah.”

Our eyes met for a split second, which was not enough to exchange any words. 

“After we’ve dealt with this guy, we’ll give you plenty of love and attention.”

“Hiii!”

(T/N: In Japanese, ‘hii’ is a way of screaming (read like the pronoun ‘he,’ but stretched out as loud as the number of ‘i’s in there). It’s actually more like a very sharp intake of air then an actual scream, to be exact.)

Instead, one of the men call out to her vulgarly. The woman lets out a scream, but I am unable to do anything due to being in a panic from the fear and pain. Tears well up, not just from the pain, but also from a sense of powerlessness. 

After passing through the door at the end of the passageway, I find myself in a courtyard surrounded by sturdy-looking stone walls. Standing alongside the front wall is a large tower also made of stone. 

There are rough men all over the place, showering me with scorn and jeers. 

“It’s the fake magician!”

“Show us how you can escape with your magic!”

“Hope you get buried already!”

I muse over what they mean by ‘fake magician,’ but no answer comes to me. I’m hustled to the center of the courtyard and made to kneel there. 

With that, their rough handling finally ceases, so I’m able to at least survey my surroundings with my eyes. I’m not completely clueless about this kind of scenery. Most likely, this place is the inside of a fort or a castle. Additionally, it should be these bandits’ hideout. This is exactly like a setting in a game, but now that I’m present in the flesh, it’s very hard for me to enjoy myself. 

After pressing pressed down in place for several minutes, a man wearing a robe comes out of the building in front of me. He is holding a staff in each of his hands. 

He looks very neurotic, and has sunken cheeks, a moustache, and a sharp nose. 

Apparently this place is not a bandit’s hideout, but rather an evil magician’s stronghold. 

“You bastard, who the hell are you?”

The robed man suddenly begins questioning me in a shrill voice. 

“Where did you get your hands on this staff? You bastard, are you related to Afalusal?”

Before I can answer, he showers me with more questions. Now that I’m taking a better look, one of the staves that he’s holding is actually mine. 

Wizardry Staff. As commemoration for Gio reaching level 36, I had splurged half of my entire fortune at the time on making that powerful item. 

“I, I am…… ah…… I am a wizard called Gio Margils. The staff is my personal property, and I know nothing at all about this Afalu-something of yours.”

I was almost about to say my Japanese name, as I have for so many years as a salaryman, but I was able to catch myself in time. Oh right, I’m in a parallel world. The laws and police and ethics of the safe and clean Japan can no longer protect me. 

“Don’t you lie to me! You have no magical power! How could you use any magic?”

“Hah?”

No magical power? 

“Give me a proper answer, you bastard!”

“Gofu!?”

After I unconsciously let slip a stupified exclamation, one of the bandits next to me plants his foot square in my gut. 

“Gafu…… oh……!? Gohhhhh……”

“Hyahyahya! You look miserable!”

“If you’re going to play dumb, you’re gonna have to put more willpower into it!”

The pain is so great that my mind goes pure white. This is the first time in all 42 years of my life to receive so much punishment. But what frightens me most, even more than the violence, is the coarse laughter of these men, in which not even a twinge of conscience can be heard. 

“I also don’t feel any magical power in this staff. However, this is definitely magic!”

The robed man brandishes my staff, and lightning crashes into the ground between the two of us. Bluish-white light sears into everyone’s eyes, then a thunderous roar follows after a short delay. 

“Uwah!?”

“Hii!?”

The lightning only lasted a moment, but the light and sound has caused the 3 men group and me to fall on our butts. It was due to the shockwave from from the lightning striking the ground. The surrounding bandits are all frozen with surprise. 

“Awesome…… What was that……?”

“I’ve never seen magic like that in my life……”

Damn it. Looks like I had charged my Wizardry Staff with [Lightning]. Magical items in D&B are relatively simple, so it appears that he’s figured out how to use it, but…… What did he mean by the staff not having magical power? My brain is not working well from all the pain and fear. 

“What on earth is this magical tool that has no magical power?! If you’re not a sorcerer from Afalusal, then is this something developed by those fools in the magi faction?! Spit it out!”

“I don’t really have anything to spit ou-...... gefu!”

The robed man signals, and the three men group resume kicking and hitting me. 

“Fun…… I get it now. You’re making light of me, eh? This great magician Jyagul-sama, eh?”

“Goho. I’m not mak-...... gah.”

I curl up in the fetus position and try to endure the violence. Seeing that, the robed man—Jyagul—snaps. 

He orders the three men to pull up the ragged me. Both of my arms are being held, so I can’t move my body at all. 

“HAH!”

Jyagul raises the other staff that he’s holding and shouts out a kiai of sorts. 

“Ice Arrow!”

From the tip of his staff, something flies out…… and stabs into my shoulder! 

“Gah…… GYAAAHHHH!!”

My shoulder has been pierced by something that feels terribly hot. When I look at it, however, it turns out to be an arrow made of ice. 

It’s magic! He used magic to shoot me with an arrow made of ice! 

This is strange, what happened to my own magic? [Invincible] is supposed to negate magic! Or is what he used actually something really high level?! 

“How is your taste of real magic? If you don’t want to be iced, you’d better start telling the truth!”

“As expected of Jyagul-sama!”

“Just finish off a guy like this already!”

“...... guh…… uuu……”

Neither Jyagul’s nor the bandits’ voices register in my ears. My shoulder hurts like it’s being torn up from the inside. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve been subjected to such violence and intense pain. My mind is currently filled with only fear…… and rage. 

I’m sick of this pain. Am I going to be killed? I don’t want to die. Help me. I want to run away. 

Why is this happening to me? I didn’t do anything to deserve this. 

 

«What will you do next?»

 

Out of the blue. 

Slicing through my fear-addled brain, the nostalgic voice of my game master reverberates inside my head. 

Oh right. I’ve already overcome several tens of situations as bad as this one. 

The tsukkomi that  “that was only inside the game” rears up in my mind, but I forcefully press it back down, and wrack my mind for a way to break out of this deadlock. The pain and disparagement are both ignored. The ‘sense of danger to my life’ that I’d been feeling from the start now sharpens my concentration to an unnatural level. Almost instantly, I reach the conclusion that I must use a spell. 

My mind scrolls at super speed through the list of spells that I have charged, and I select one. This spell must completely seal all of Jyagul’s movements, and also be more than enough to intimidate the bandits. In all probability, Jyagul has possession of my spellbook, so merely running away is not an option. Of course, all spells that would kill him immediately are also filtered out. 

“Cat got your tongue? Answer already!”

“You think staying quiet’s gonna help you?”

“Gafu.”

The kick on my back makes me fall flat on my face. Then the blow to my face and stomach causes my breath to get choked in my throat. But I merely grit my teeth and look up at Jyagul. 

I begin chanting with a degree of coldness that surprises even myself. 

“By means of this spell, he shall become as stone. [Stoned].”

(T/N: I swear, these keywords always have rubii on top to dictate their readings, and they all read out in English. I'm not the one choosing them.)

Both the construction of the Inner World and the passage through the Door of Wizardry goes much smoother than the first time. In the eyes of Jyagul and the bandits, I’m merely lying limp and mumbling something under my breath, but truth is that I’ve already gone down to the [Spell Archive of the Magical Enchanter] on the 5th floor and released the power of one of the spells there. 

“If this is how you’re going to be, then a second magical demonstra-...... heh?”

At first, neither Jyagul nor the bandits understand what is happening. 

I see both of Jyagul’s ankles, along with his shoes, turning stone gray. 

“My feet are…… what the fuck is this?! I can’t move. Uwaaaahhh!?”

The change in color, in other words the petrification, progresses mercilessly upwards and eats up his shins, knees, and thighs. 

Even his robe is not spared. 

By the time the petrification reaches his waist, he, as well as the other bandits, finally understand what is happening. 

“What’s going on?!”

“It's stone…… Jyagul-sama is turning into stone!”

“I can’t move, dammit! My body can't move!!”

With both legs completely turned to stone, Jyagul goes pale in the face and screams. All of the bandits, starting with the 3 who had been holding me down, have fallen into a state of confusion. 

“Kill him! Kill that guy!!”

At the same time of Jyagul’s roar, I feel something touching my back, so I turn around. 

“What is…… Why is this guy……?!”

There are bandits standing stiffly with weapons bared. It seems that the [Invincible] spell has finally become of use. 

“This bastard!”

“Why can’t I stab him?!”

All three of them are wailing on me with sword and axe, but the barrier enveloping my body blocks all their attacks, not letting through even the tiniest of shocks. 

If they become calm and revert to using their bare hands, I would be finished right here and now. 

However, the bandits do not have the leisure to do so. 

“AHHHHH! STOP, STOP, STOP ITTTT! HELP ME~~~!”

Right now, Jyagul’s face is twisted with fear, but the petrification is still mercilessly marching on. Several seconds later, his entire body has been completely converted into a stone statue, with his face the very image of misery. 

There was indeed a little bit of guilt about using this spell on a live human, but I couldn’t muster up much sympathy. I mean, I can use another spell to undo his petrification anytime I want to anyways. Having retrieved some presence of mind, I pat down my chest…… but then the pain from my shoulder revives, causing me to grimace.

“Haah…… Haah…… Zeehh……”

Silence now rules this fort. The only audible sound is that of my own ragged breathing. After a minute, or slightly less than that, a single bandit fearfully makes his way towards Jyagul.

“......O, oi……”

“Jya-, Jyagul…... -sama?”

When he touches the sculpture that used to be Jyagul, it slowly falls over.

It’s a human-sized statue, so it made a pretty loud noise.

“He really turned into stone……”

“Did, did that guy do this…… ?”

All of the bandits’ eyes, which had been gathered towards the fallen Jyagul statue, now turn towards me. Of course, their eyes are no longer filled with the scorn and disdain from before, but rather fear and unease.

The coarse thought of “serves them right” does flit across my mind, but the pain from my shoulder tells me that this is not the time for that.

What I must do is chase these guys away as soon as possible.

Which means…… which means…… the pain is fogging up my thought process.

 

«What will you do next?»

 

The voice of my oldest TRPG buddy and my most trusted game master seemingly reverberates inside my head again.